National Purple Heart Day

Over the past few weeks, thoughts have been gathered both as an End-of-Life Doula and as a grandchild, wanting to express these past few weeks in an educating way, bringing knowledge and awareness to communities about times of transition, death, grieving, and the celebration of life. Wondering when these thoughts would be compiled and shared, knowing it should be soon while fresh, the timing of today's National Purple Heart Day being celebrated on August 7th, could not be any more of a sign.

For those who know, universal signs and synchronicities are big, and those interested are encouraged to be in the moment, calm the thoughts, and allow for communications from the Universe to come through, be it hearing, seeing, feeling, or simply known, clearly, without any analytics or second-guessing. Here, universal signs, synchronicities, transitioning from the physical plane to the spiritual planes, gratitude, joy, celebration of life, and grieving all intersect.

July and August 2023 have been a unique time collectively and individually, on an energetic level and a physical level. Death. Transformation and Transition. And through this time of joy to sadness and all areas in between, there has also been some personal healing, a deep void in which a missed opportunity to connect with another grandparent during their decline, which influenced the decision to become an End-of-Life Doula.

The past year has been tough for our grandfather, a dedicated Army veteran, a double Purple Heart, and triple Cluster recipient. After months of decline yet refusal to ever give up, he passed away peacefully at the age of 90 on July 28th, 2023. He met his goal of 90 years of age, one in which was spoken about during his birthday celebration earlier in the year. This soldier for life leaves behind a legacy of his very own that will be carried on by his wife of 70 years, 3 remaining children, seven grandchildren and loving in-laws and 12 great-grandchildren, additional family, and friends.

With his decline over the year, it was possible to tap into the education as an End-of-Life Doula and provide respite care for the family caretakers while enjoying extra time with his wife, my Grandmother in law.

His passing was a unique one, one in which also experienced healing a personal wound of mine that lived on after 23 years, in which the opportunity to spend with my paternal Grandmother was missed and, on the day, guided to go see her, choosing to go left instead of right. This time around, following intuition, following the path, healing would commence.

Running late. Knocked out a few work items before leaving the house yet took time so the tasks wouldn't be lingering on the mind all day and instead, be present for whatever the day had in store. Putting mascara on as coffee was waited for, the soul laughing, knowing tears would be shed so why bother. Put the mascara on anyway.

Sipping fresh coffee, driving slowly, enjoying some alone time, sunshine and greenery surrounding, listening to a podcast on Pluto (and how Pluto is notorious for cleaning up anything that is no longer serving its purpose, emotional cleaning, physical cleaning, with the analogy of it being like "Roto-Rooter". The symbolism was interesting considering the past few weeks' work and life experiences. On a lovely, windy 2 lane road, calm from traffic, putting in ear buds to do a voice-over for the recording that week, an earbud got knocked out of the ear, onto the floor, in a place that was quite difficult to pick it up. Laughed and said OK… back to being present, enjoying the drive, music and view instead.

Reached the Veteran's Affairs buildings. Grandpa had been moved from the hospital to hospice. Located the blue awning which was the reminder given as a visual point of reference. Parked and walked in the heat, walking slowly, not in a rush due to the heat nor any delays in seeing him. Instead, noticed a purple flower, a dragonfly, Queen Anne's Lace flowers and an old tree. The tree had seen its fair share of grieving family and friends coming and going in and out of this building. Took a moment to thank the tree. Walked slowly into the front and saw people enjoying space. Some of these folks were in their final stages in this lifetime, all dying at their own pace and from their individual scenarios. There was understanding among all that by being here, one was within a six-month window of their transition and supported by love and kindness.

On the right was a water fountain right outside the blue canopy. Koi fish, dragonflies (the blue ones) and a lotus flower. Logic pops in, and it is the season for dragonflies, but I'm telling you what… seeing them for 3 weeks during the major decline forcing Grandpa into transition, are confirming what we already know. Dragonflies also became prevalent in other loved one’s passings earlier in life. They are, in fact, considered one of the spirit animals of transformation. It seems fitting.

Went in. It was peaceful. Birds in a cage joyfully playing and chirping. Paintings on the walls. USA decorations all over. Beauty here… Asked where to find his room. They said room 123. 123!!!! Going in the right direction. Number signs all day (previous signs include 333, 444, 143). Found him. A volunteer was there. Introduced myself. Her daughter's name is Jennie. It's her birthday. Gave her a break to call her daughter and took over with Grandpa. Another little confirmation. A birthday. The name Jennie.

Music on by his bed. Video on the TV that coincided with the music. Looked at him. He's not there. But he is 100 percent in the room surrounding. It was magical, intense, lovely. Cried. Laughed and told him about the mascara. Felt additional love and lightness energy, so spoke a little more.

Being an End-of-Life Doula, we are taught that hearing is the last sense to go. His breathing was labored. Eyes closed. Mouth open. All signs that the time is near. But now is not the time to sit and do nothing. Now is the time to communicate. Words fell out of the mouth gracefully. "Thank you. Thank you for being my grandfather. Thank you for opening your arms to me 30 years ago when I met your grandson. And yes, I have other grandfathers, however, I was connected to you, saw you more, laughed with you more, and you got to experience me growing up and meeting your great-grandchildren. Your legacy will continue. Without you, there would be no direct children, one who gave birth to my now-husband, there would be no first brave great-grandson and then a lovely great-granddaughter. My life would not be today what it is without your presence here in this lifetime." Thanked him a few times more as he made an impact on me and so many that I love and value in this life. Felt his love energy intensify.

Closed the eyes and stopped talking as I needed to be with this energy. Asked him if Reiki could be provided for him. Heard him say, "of course, honey," in the way he always says it. Did a quick energy push; two minutes were more than enough. He was just fine and didn’t need any further help. Sat back in awe. 

Heard the music and looked at the TV. Reminded again - the last thing to go is hearing. Improvised and used my hypnosis voice to tell him what is on the screen in alignment with the music next to him in his left ear.

• A bear. A big black playful bear. Playing in a lake. Beach pebbles. Lots of pine trees. Is the bear eating? No. Instead, it's joyfully playing in the lake and shaking the excess water off like a dog.  Next scene and new song…

• A trail in the mountains and a creek. The creek flowing over the pebbles and rocks of the earth. Flowing gently over all the rocks making its way to its destination. Mud on either side. Tall trees with a canopy of green at the top. Peaceful, flowing. Next scene and new song…

• A beach - silky sand, tropical music, the water of the ocean clear blue. Trees on the island and clear blue skies. The waves flowing up onto the sand and slowly falling back into the ocean… The waves moving up again onto the sand peacefully and then pulling back into the ocean. The rhythm beautifully in sync with the earth, with our heartbeats.

A half an hour passes, and the volunteer returned. She sits with him every morning. Another volunteer sits with him in the evening. All the people here are beautiful souls.

Stood and walked over to his other side. 613 is on his pillow (number sign for me showcasing acts of service, unity, and the Trinity). Told him I love him. Laughed with the nurse that just came in and the volunteer. No recollection of what was laughed about, but it brought an authentic laugh into the room. Said goodbye once more.

Late to see Grandma. She's probably starving. Cooled down the jeep on this incredibly hot summer day and texted her saying I'd be there in 30 mins. Then realized Waze was saying 60 mins. DOH! 1 pm. Nothing could be done about the traffic, so simply going with the flow was what needed to be done.

Turned on music, Waze said go left on the interstate. No. Needed to go right on the interstate and take a backroad. Followed intuition again, backroad it was. Looking at the opposite side of the interstate as I drove further down the road, noticed the traffic was intense. Good choice in following the gut. Music was now up loud, singing with passion in my own little world and releasing energy out. Nirvana comes on. Wow… this song, this band, this time in life that connects back to a soul-empowering hypnosis session had the day before (inner child work via the early teen Jennie). Then, Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper… Whether I was singing well or not, it didn't matter as the jeep was full of voice energy along that 2 lane backroad. Fast forward…. "I'm off the deep end, watch as I dive in, I'll never touch the ground, crash on the surface, where they can't hurt us, we're far from the shallow now". Life is much deeper than what meets the eye.

Passed the church and cemetery Grandpa will be buried. And to the left, the spot where family members were married. A bit of nostalgia of the past intertwined with the near future.

Might have just passed my mother-in-law on this two-lane road. Reminded of Grandma's lunch.

Finally at Grandma's house. She ate already. Talked about traffic. Laughed. Wanted to go through pictures to prepare a video of Grandpa's life for the upcoming service. Couldn't find the box of pictures. Found one album though with my husband and his brother, Polaroids of their trip with their grandparents, everyone appearing genuine in their smiles and enjoyment.  Started talking and arrived at a place of memory lane. This is a good time as Grandma's help, her memory, was needed to help craft the obituary. Two hours of in-depth memories of her childhood and his, how they met, who asked who out first, the kids, the grandkids, laughter, whose car was better (hers) and more laughter. A heightened state of joy was the status. 

Her son arrived and asked to join him outside, nudging the phone, encouraging to bring it along. He let me know that my mother-in-law wanted me to call her. And said, "he's gone".

Called her. She didn't answer. Saw a brown and yellow butterfly flying around. The wings were not solid, a broken wing of sorts, yet it was still flying with ease all around. Called her again. She confirmed… Grandpa passed.  As she spoke the words, intertwined with the present, the heart was holding onto the past two hours; he was with us in spirit, I am certain. Memories flooding in that made her laugh and laugh and cry and laugh a little more… Grandpa knew she was going to be supported and with a few other confirmations, he made his transition.

Mother-in-law had driven that same two-lane road and had waved, on her way to hospice. It was a sort of "tag, you are it" moment that was not even made aware of until later. When spending time with Grandpa and seeing his decline from just a few days before, she told him that it was ok to go, that they would be ok. NOTE: A lot of times, those in hospice that are there in physical form, yet more so in spirit realm, stay until they know it's ok to transition, that their loved ones in which they are leaving behind, will be ok. This was a part of his release, I am certain.

She asked me to tell Grandma. I went in. Looked at my uncle-in-law, told him that she gave me permission, but he could absolutely tell Grandma instead. He shook his head.

I held Grandma's hands. Probably the first time ever in this way. She looked at me. She knew. Told her "He passed away." Bowed my head while holding her hands and released all the tears possible in that moment. Uncle-in-law rubbed her back. She went from shock to tears. Time stood still.

If gotten this far into this piece, you may have been able to envision it all and hopefully understand the dynamics here. The universe surrounding, laying out the path if willing to participate and be present. Flowed all day the exact way it was meant to. It was easy, loving, hard, flowing, and magical. Couldn't even cry as hard as one could, as it was so beautiful. Grandpa was with all of us in spirit, and he allowed me to be a part of his transition in the way he trusted was best. 

On the drive home, came in and out of amazing thunderstorms with one breaking clouds that allowed for sunshine, so I stopped at the arboretum.  After 30 years I finally stopped here alone to check it out. Beautiful land. Lots of trees. A rainbow. A magnolia tree. I stepped out of my jeep, walked towards the tree, and took my shoes off to breath and reground. 

My other Grandma - my “Nani” - her headstone was placed under a magnolia tree, on July 19th, 2000, 23 years and a week, before Grandpa’s passing.  Almost as if they joined forces to encourage healing through the grieving process.  This was a healing point for me that was not known until experienced.  A few days later, when shopping for my college student, a framed picture of a brown and yellow butterfly made its way to my eyes.  Only one on the shelf.  Reminder that he is still with us.

To close:

A dedicated Army veteran, a double Purple Heart and triple Cluster recipient, passed away peacefully at the age of 90 on July 28th, 2023.  Jim was born on January 8th, 1933.

Jim served his country with unwavering bravery and commitment, enlisting in the United States Army at a young age.  He valiantly served during the Korean War, displaying remarkable courage and dedication to his fellow soldiers.  During his tour of duty, he was wounded in action and awarded two prestigious Purple Hearts and three clusters for his selfless acts and sacrifice. 

After serving honorably for several years, Jim started his adult civilian life in Dayton, Ohio, where he continued to make a positive impact on his community.  This is where he met, married his beloved wife, and created a family of his own, moving later to Northern Virginia and then, when retiring from the government, into Berkeley Springs, WV.

Beyond his military and professional achievements, Jim was a devoted husband, father, and grandfather.  He cherished his family above all else and instilled in them the values of love and resilience.  He was known for his warm smile, witty humor, genuine kindness and of course, his nicknames for those surrounding him, adding to the daily joy he influenced.  He touched the hearts of everyone he encountered.

In his spare time, Jim enjoyed tending to his garden, caring for local deer and kittens, greeting his grandchildren and great grandchildren with care and compassion.  In addition to holding the profound role of Grandfather, Jim also held the role of Commander with the American Legion, Commander of the Honor Guard for several years and attended many events locally in Berkeley Springs, WV, sharing space and time among his fellow veterans which he valued so much.

Jim “Grandpa” will forever remain in our hearts, and his legacy of bravery, love, and resilience will continue to inspire generations to come.

And because of his being, imprinting onto my soul, and the courtesy of him granting me special access to his transition from this earth plane, I have been given the additional strength as a granddaughter of a Purple Heart soldier and a stronger End-of-Life Doula. Thank you Grandpa.